TV News Cameraman Blamed For Everything.

I know I'm a little late blogging about this this story but, hell, it took me the two days to actually get over the crassness of this particular reporters way of going about his job to tell a story. Flooding in parts of India have killed and misplaced thousands, ruining already fragile lives and reducing many from poverty, to abject poverty. This story has since gone viral, but here's my view.

A little to the left... left... and... keep still.

Now we all know that the media industry is full of people who will actually climb over the shoulders of colleagues in the race to the top of the pole, but to climb on the shoulders of a poor, half drowned victim of flooding is taking it way too far in the pursuit of a good piece to camera. When caught out, he then blames the entire incident on his TV cameraman who was meant to frame out the unfortunate, wobbling man on whom sat this insensitive, ocean going prat.

Apparently, according to this post, the reporter has now been sacked by the TV news station that employed him, but I can't help think of the cameraman who let this happen in the first place, although I am unaware of the full circumstances of how this monumental balls up occurred at this time. It certainly wouldn't have got past me. I think the conversation with my journalist would have been something like this...

Journo: "There's no way I'm getting my new brogues wet, fetch me a poor flood victim upon whom I can perch..."

Me: "I'm sorry... What..?"

Journo: "a poor man... Perch... Shoes... My piece to camera awaits."

Me: "Perhaps we can use the bodies as stepping stones you utter twat, or take the only food they have... It's nearly lunchtime after all.."

Journo: "What are you trying to say..?"

Me: "I'm sorry, perhaps you are a little tired. Here, take this man's last vestiges of clothing to make a comfortable seat for your over privileged arse..."

I think he would have got the point that in no way whatsoever, would I be filming him sat upon a flood victims shoulders. Anyway, what news team goes into a flood hit area without the correct means of protecting themselves against the elements? A good pair of wellies would have been the very least he should have had and would have stopped all this stupidity.

Forgetting the snorkel equipment, my news field producer did the decent thing...

So I leave you with this picture of me filming our very own flooding in the South of England last year... We really needed to get close to film a good piece to camera. I know it looks shallow, but i am actually standing in about 7 foot deep flood water, and my field producer was a very kind fellow... We never saw him again.

You can watch the video here. ( TV station following up with copyright claims, so it might not last.)

Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.

www.media-attention.co.uk

Here's The News... Brought To You By Dunkin' Doughnuts.

In this post, I would like to take you back to the media, and what that word actually means. Here at the ukcameraman institute of TV news studies, we like to think of the media as TV, newspapers, radio and magazines, you know, traditional media... A means of disseminating information and entertainment to the masses and a watchdog to the governments of the day.

doughnuts... Full of yummy, yummy media stuff.

Social media and online media is rapidly taking over the way in which that information and entertainment is disseminated. It's just the means of consumption that is changing and the speed at which it occurs, but the content changes little. Video, Audio, Photos and text. Multi-media and gaming even.

However, listening to The Guardian's Media Talk podcast this morning, hosted by John Plunkett, it would appear that the food company Dunkin' Doughnuts, consider themselves not only a purveyor of sweet glazed, jam filled doughiness, but also as a media company. Yes, you read that right... Doughnut company and media in the same sentence.

Listening to the podcast, I was hoping for stories, videos, radio stuff and articles from this new global media company that also sells doughnuts. What we get however, is an App for your smartphone that alerts you to the fact that if you fail to buy a doughnut within a certain timeframe, your money off voucher will expire. Mind blowing, in depth media stuff, I'm sure you will agree...

Media company my hairy arse.

John gamely spoke to a few people about this new media company. They spoke of the redefinition of media, anywhere that ideas and people actually meet, becoming part of someone's routine, engaging enriching and enhancing people's lives. They talked of compelling people to engage with brands on an epic scale.

What they were talking about of course, was marketing and advertising, not media. What they actually wanted to do, was to sell you a doughnut. Read the above again, and you will see the pernicious marketing and ad man talk that is pervasive of social media by the marketeers and ad men. It is not media.

Media should inform, educate and entertain. What Dunkin' Doughnuts is trying to do, is to sell me a doughnut via the guise of calling themselves a media company. They are not a media company... They sell doughnuts. Do you hear me..? DOUGHNUTS!

Perhaps if they want to be a media company, they should make some proper media and educate me with an article, film or radio programme about, oh I dunno... Obesity in the modern western world. Just a thought. Link to it via the App, and hey presto... We can see it whilst in the queue at the local doughnut emporium.

Now if you will excuse me, I'm off out... For a Krispy Kreme.

Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.

www.media-attention.co.uk

The Shaming Of A TV News Cameraman To A Funky Funky Beat.

As is usual for a TV News Cameraman, I'm sitting quietly in a car park just outside of Aldershot waiting for a phone call. Nothing important, but I need to wait for another filming job. As an ordinary kind of bloke, I begin to pick at my ear hair and think its about time for another go with the gentleman's electrical ear hair remover thingy, the one that I believe will do me some serious damage one day, when a slow booming rumble behind me alerts my attention to something unusual. Boom, boom, boom.

The latest in Hip Hop car stereos...

What the actual f...

A blue VW Golf pulls up about three spaces away from where I am sat. However, I now appear to be the one and only audience member of an open air hip hop concert and the speakers have just arrived, fitted to a small hatchback. Boom, boom, boom.

The two sports capped lads in the car appear not to have noticed I am there and ignore the obvious horror on my face. They are big lads, young, tattooed and slack jawed, so I decide against intruding on their musical appreciation of the hip hop genre by asking them if they would turn their music down, just a wee bit... Boom, boom, boom. Their heads are bouncing to the bass heavy beat. I, on the other hand am unsure whether I am listening to East or West coast hip hop as my understanding and appreciation of such music is somewhat shaky, if not entirely invalid. Boom, boom, boom.

I can't quite get my head around the quick fire rapid lyrics, something about butts, bitches and an awful lot of dollars, but... My word, he's going to put a cap where..? Surely a cap is for wearing on your head... With the peak facing forward in the proper position.

Boom, boom, boom. If this is West coast American music, then The Beach Boys have certainly changed their portfolio of songs in a close harmony singing style, so I decide that this is East coast, from the 'hood, as they say.

You see, in contrast to the simplistic rhyme pattern utilised by old school surfing dudes, East coast hip hop has been noted for its emphasis on lyrical dexterity. It has also been characterised by multi-syllabic rhymes, complex wordplay, a continuous free-flowing delivery and intricate metaphors... one would imagine.

I wind my window up and put on the radio. I decide that Woman's Hour on Radio Four is no competition to the nearby funky beat what with its complete lack of heavy bass lines, so I go for the more youthful tunes on Radio Two... I'll show 'em. I turn the volume all the way to 7... No, hang on... 6, that'll do, I don't want to overdo it.

After another three or four minutes the mobile hip hop show leaves and the boom, boom, boom recedes into the distance leaving me and the surrounding car park listening to a louder than usual rendition of The Love Cats by The Cure. I give myself a celebratory 'Yeah..!' as an elderly gentleman with his equally elderly wife walk past. They both look at me. I can tell by his face that he holds my youthful exuberance in utter contempt for having my music on too loud and he slowly shakes his head at the youth of today... I can almost hear his tutting from here.

'But didn't you hear the horrible loud hip hop..?' I think to myself. 'It wasn't me, I was just... I'm a BBC News Cameraman y'know..' I plead to his better nature, but to no avail.

Oh, what's the use. I hang my head in shame at being an overly loud anti-social berk with a worrying penchant for early 80's gothic rock music, and no consideration for those in my current surroundings. I sit in silence and wait for my phone call.

Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.

www.media-attention.co.uk

TV News Cameraman's Dream Day.

It's been a slow news week here on the freelance front of news gathering so, at the ukcameraman institute of TV news studies, I have commissioned an in depth poll into what I would like to film before I pack in this whole sorry way of life, or I die in the line of duty filming a overturned delicatessen truck, drowning in an avalanche of sausage rolls, Danish pastry and chocolate sprinkles on the M3 just outside Basingstoke.

Zarg was stunned at the custard pie incident.

I have filmed many strange, wonderful and downright freaky stuff for the televisual news viewer over the years, but there are a number of things that have not occurred yet, mostly because of the laws of physics, not being in the right place at the right time, because they are a figment of my warped mind or because it is just plain bollocks. Here are some of them...

1. The women's all in world jelly wrestling championships (sport)

2. Prime Minister caught with custard pie to the face. (Politics)

3. Demonstration outside Parliament by the UK clown association. (Home Affairs)

4. The Martian invasion begins. (World news)

5. Mugger sentenced to 15 years to life. (Crime)

Any one of the above news scenarios would indeed make my, or any news cameraman's day, and give me something to dine out on for the next 40 years or so. I do however have one single all time favourite recurring dream that just won't leave my head...

Whilst filming the all in jelly wrestling championships, I am called away to Parliament where scuffles have broken out between the Police and the UK clown association, over one their members being sentenced to 15 years to life for a mugging offence whilst dressed as a Coco the clown. During the protest, the Martian invasion begins when spaceships land on Parliament square, declaring peace on Earth and food for all. The prime Minister approaches Martian leader as our human representative, and gets a custard pie square in the face by a disgruntled clown.

Being the only cameraman there, and on my own freelance time, I reckon I would make a fortune from that roll of pixels. I would be rich beyond the dreams of avarice, thus avoiding the delicatessen truck incident in Basingstoke.

That my friends, would be a good news day. Until then, back to the reality of a local politician declaring paper clips a health and safety hazard to small mammals. Or am I still dreaming..?

Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.

www.media-attention.co.uk

A Kick In The Balls... Now That's Entertainment.

Good things come to the TV News cameraman who waits. The times when all the standing in the rain on court steps makes it worth it... Swings and roundabouts. just lots of roundabouts and not enough swing if you will.

You all must know me by now. Grumpy, yet oh so loveable and approachable. I know how to say my pleases and thank you's in all the right places. Sometimes I may even crack a smile to disarm even the most shy of camera shy persons.

Sharp suited Muso's... Disappointing.

So you can imagine my excitement when out of the corner of my eye yesterday, whilst filming at the Isle Of Wight music festival, I spotted one of the few musicians that I would actually listen to willingly, and have even bought a number of their albums over the years.

I've been listening to the music of Paul Weller since I was a spotty youth in my mod phase in the early Eighties. He was lead singer of The Jam back then, with drainpipe trousers, sharp jackets, sharper haircuts and thin ties. I aspired to owning a pair of two tone 'Jam' shoes such was my idolatry of this fine band. I mod bopped to Going Underground, The Eton Rifles and desperately wanted to visit A Town Called Malice. He was the man who made me buy a fishtail parka with a target on the back. Boy, did I look like a dick. The Modfather I was not, but the local working man's club disco night dance floors had seen nothing like it...

Armed with my pleases and thank you's and my best disarming smile, we approached the man. He was three feet away. My teenage years flashed before my eyes in a Top of the Pops montage, (without Jimmy Savile) the music a swirl in my head. At last, I get to speak and interact with one of my few idols. Maybe even get a picture with him putting his hand on my shoulder and smiling together... One for the cameraman album.

"Mr Weller... BBC News, any chance of a quick chat on camera about the festival..?"

"Sorry guys, I gotta go..."

And with that, he was gone. He may have split a hair or something. Maybe the bar was calling, or his guitar needed a polish, in any case we got the bums rush and short shrift. My crest had fallen. My bubble was burst and my stiff upper lip de-stiffened. He never even said thanks to me for buying that single all those years ago... How could he do this to me? 95p I spent on that bloody single, you would think he would be more grateful.

They say never meet your idols. They can disappoint, let you down and make you change your view of them. Paul Weller once sang the lyrics...

'Lights going out and a kick in the balls, i say that's entertainment, that's entertainment.' (That's Entertainment, The Jam, 1980.)

It sure is Paul, it sure is. However, he did say sorry before he kicked me in the balls and left my deflated cameraman frame alone in the gutter, sans interview. He's a busy man, I forgive him.

I walk away and consoled myself with a memory of another festival years ago, when my one time teenage crush, Debbie Harry, let me put my hand up her jumper. (I was placing a mic) A warm glow enveloped me, at least she didn't leave me hanging on the telephone... That's a memory I will have forever.

Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.

www.media-attention.co.uk