Monday, 11 March 2013

Barbie's Broadcast TV Meltdown.

So it would seem that everyone is getting in on the act. No sooner had i posted an article on the study of media and boy band hair, the following picture appeared online, courtesy of Maz Poynter...

Having graduated with a degree in Journalism (with distinction) Barbies life went into total and utter meltdown.

 In between poolside parties, trips to the shops and the tanning salon, Barbie has found the time to study journalism and how to work a TV Camera. I Know..! Who would have thought it could have been that simple..?

I for one was intrigued at how her fledgling TV journalistic career has gone thus far, so i rang the TV station she is currently working for. My un-named contact revealed that Barbie has not managed to cover London Fashion Week, The BAFTA's or any red carpet events as she imagined she would have been, seeing as she was Barbie and all. The Prima-Donna tantrums were famous and were something to behold.

Instead her News Editor and senior producers have sent her on various local news stories including, but not limited to, a dog theft in Surrey, a crack house murder in Portsmouth and a sewage overflow disaster in downtown Lewisham. Apparently Barbie has started smoking and drinking heavily. The Barbie all over tan has faded, bags have appeared under the eyes and her hair is a mess following her daily 15 hour shifts and sleeping in TV Live trucks on location. The sleeping pills apparently are not helping. On her wages, she can no longer afford to go shopping.

On one particular rain lashed evening, following a local court case, Barbie was robbed of her camera kit whilst trying to VJ the story on her own. She cannot look another hoodie in the face without bursting into tears.

To top it all, following Barbies rapid descent into the lowly paid, unglamourous shift system of local TV news, her boyfriend Ken, who was on the same journalism course, is on a six figure salary at Channel 4 News and is tipped to be the New York Correspondent. Barbie is in deep misery and the drinking has got worse. But she is happy for him, hoping he will take her with him to New York.

He is also shagging the new unpaid intern. The rotten bastard. Poor Poor Barbie.

Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter

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