Thursday 14 June 2012

The Hardest Post To Write...

Yesterday morning about 1015am, i took one of the hardest phone calls i have ever received. My Mum, Hilda Joan Martin, had passed away sometime in the previous night. Bringing her a cup of tea in the morning, my Father was the one to discover that she had passed away peacefully in her sleep. I am grateful that the evening before, i spoke to my Mum on the phone, as she had just returned home from another stay in hospital, one of many over the previous 5 or 6 months due to many problems she had encountered during those months, chief amongst which was a weakened heart.

Hilda Joan Martin... My Mum.

 There was no weak heart in my mind when it comes to remembering my Mother. Having suffered many medical problems throughout her life, she fought and lived with them. She didn't give up, although at times i knew she wanted to. She was tough in many ways that you would not think of when you looked at my Mum. An inner toughness that gave her a longer life than many would have thought over her lifetime. My Mum was always there for me and my Sister Karen, and my Dad. Sure, we had our problems like any other family, but as a family we worked through them and are still a close family. We saw and spoke to each other on a regular basis, we shared each others lives as a family.

I've always had my Mum there... Until today. I woke up for the first time to realise that she wasn't going to be there, and that is going to hurt for a long time to come.

I'm not the only one. My Dad, my Sister, and her Grand children Ben and Jed will miss her also. My Uncles and Aunties, of which there are many, have lost a Sister. My Grandmother has lost a Daughter. It's going to be a hard few weeks and months coming to terms with such a huge loss in our lives.

I looked on my mobile phone today. it contains the entire text conversation between me and my Mum since i bought the phone. Things like that are going to pop up from time to time. Photo's, messages and other digital contacts that my Mum took to, like Facebook and Skype, will remind me when i least expect it, that she is no longer here with us.

Most of my memories though are in my head. There are plenty of them to remember her with. Good times when i was small, and good times not so long ago. My Mum will sure be missed by a great many people, but she will without doubt, never be forgotten.

I Love you Mum.  

2 comments:

  1. Hear Hear Paul a very hard thing for you to have had to write it was a very moving tribute to your mum and i am shore that you will feel her presence around you for some time to come maybe a white feather will fall or a twinkling starlight on the wall which i have seen very often throughout my life time... draw strength from your memories paul no one can ever take them from you they are very preciouse.. loosing someone very close to you is the hardest thing that can ever happen,... loosing your mum and best friend is the hardest of all there is nothing to describe the pain and hurt that you are feeling right now My big sis will be sadly missed for as long as i live she was my soul and best friend also and i shall miss the Tuesday nights chat on skype and the regular phone calls that we used to make to each other like you at least we spoke the night befor and i shall draw strenth from that.. My heart goes out to you and your family Paul.
    Luve you Aunty Audrey x x x x

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