Sunday, 17 February 2013

Graduate In TV Studies... Get Boy Band Hair.

I saw this poster advert in Coventry today... 16 or 17 years old..? Just about to leave school and thinking about your future career plans..? Fear not. Study the TV industry and all will be well. The future is bright, the future is TV shaped.

£36K Plus per year..! Boy band hair..! I'm applying now. Where do i sign..?

 Colleges up and down the land can teach you the production skills to become a Director Of Photography, a top notch TV Producer, anything you like. You will enter college a spotty, callow youth with a slack jaw, and you will emerge a shiny, boy band haired, smiling TV Director with plans to make your very own reality TV show that will make you millions within 1 year.

Top production companies will beat a path to your door having realised you have just graduated, offer you a £36.000.00 starting salary and put you in charge of the next big show slated to transmit in the upcoming Autumn schedule. You're gonna make it big. You are going to be rich with a London Soho pad next to the post production houses and a weekend retreat in the country.

On the other hand...

You may have to fight for TV work placements with the thousands of other recently graduated TV hopefuls. You may have to offer your services for less than minimum wage or for free just to get your foot in the door. Glittery, glamourous TV land is in a race to the bottom for the cheapest prices for your hard won qualifications.

Don't worry about your wages, rent or food... This next job is gonna look great on the old CV. People are going to be impressed at the long hours you have worked for travel expenses and food supplied on set. So impressed, they are going to ask you to do it again, it's just that... well... we don't really have a big budget... You know. But it will look great on your CV.

What the hell are they smiling at..? Their camera is already out of date...

 The smile from the poster will disappear, the youthful bounce in your step will turn into a shuffle, and the boy band hair will thin out and eventually turn grey... Oh, and the camera you were holding in the poster..? I know it's not that old, but it's already well out of date... Do keep up.

Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.


1 comment:

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