Monday, 11 February 2013

Busy TV News Day..? Or... Is The Pope A Catholic..?

Right about now, about 3 hours following the Popes resignation, TV Newsrooms around the world are probably in a state of mass panic, confusion and meltdown. No.. No.. No.. You misunderstand, this is not how it usually is.

Over to our reporter live... "Is there anything... anything at all that you can possibly speculate on for the 24 Hour news channels..?"

 This mornings announcement caught everyone by surprise. Even parts of the Vatican were not informed of the imminent release of this piece of juicy news. Yep, news producers and journalists the world over right now, feel like they were caught with their collective pants around their ankles, looking like they've been violently intruded by an Omnibus.

Hair is being torn out, Wikipedia has exploded, and a coffee shop owner called Guiseppe in Rome is rubbing his hands in glee at the thought of the thousands of news crews and journo's from around the world descending on his little coffee shop, just outside the Vatican gates. (Prices under review).

Right now, as you read this, Governments are releasing unpalatable news. Spin doctors and press officers are in overdrive. I can imagine the Cabinet Office at Whitehall...

"Hey... Dave, you know that piece of legislation on halving Social fiscal governmental savings applications for the 21st Century..? I'm sure that was due for media release today... Along with the re-introduction of Victorian style workhouses for the poor... We could do that one at the same time... just a suggestion like..."

Watch them... Watch them like hawks. Someone, somewhere, will do this. Whilst the world is gripped by the sight of men in multi layered dressing gowns quibble over who gets to talk to the big man upstairs, the illuminati are quietly limbering up.

So don't be surprised when Spring arrives and the whole Pope business fades away from the news agenda, that you are standing in rags, your house has been repossessed, and your gas bill has somehow risen by 300 percent. You will have to make some serious phone calls.

"You what..? You want your kids back..? Ah, well as we said on the morning of Monday 11th of February, child workhouse placements begin mid February for children whose families cannot pay their bills. The information was released to the media... Hmm..? You didn't see that..? Weren't you listening..? We did tell you."

The next month or so is going to be really quite interesting...

Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.